Every Relationship Can Be Saved, Unless It's Abusive

Relationships are complex. And problems do arise.

The good thing is, every relationship can be saved. That's right, almost every single one.

"Unless you're dealing with physical and emotional abuse, any relationship can be saved if both partners are willing to work on it." says Glinda Peterson, psychiatrist at the UCLA Medical Center of Los Angeles. "Most relationships go wrong due to money management differences, lying, cheating, and intimacy issues. What people fail to realize is these are all common human behaviors. Even the worst of these issues can be sorted out as long as each partner is willing to give it effort."

Even the worst of the worst can be fixed. That is not to say it's easy though : 

"No, it's not easy. What happens though is people think moving on with someone who doesn't appear to have the issue their partner did is going to somehow make things better. But everyone has their own baggage. In relationship psychotherapy, it's actually better to have had problems you can fix, versus entering into something with someone you truly know nothing about." says Glinda. "I've seen many men and women leave their spouse for cheating or intimacy issues, only to be cheated on again or have even worse intimacy issues, or only to be faced with abusive tendencies or drug addiction a year into a new relationship."

This isn't a pass to any problematic relationships however. Any problems in any relationship needs to be addressed and fixed, this is how Glinda recommends fixing these things. 

"Most people do simple things, write down what went wrong and say they'll fix them. That's the right start, but not even close to being enough. You have to meet with your partner weekly on these issues, at least for a while. These weekly meetings strengthen and reinforce the new direction of the relationship. I'd suggest buying notebooks and meeting together weekly to discuss how the relationship is going. Even relationships not currently suffering, when you do this it creates a unique bond that makes both people in the relationship feel accountable and feel like progress is being made. No one wants to come into the weekly meeting with their significant other having failed." says Glinda.

We aren't saying you can't get divorced or end your relationship, that's your decision. However, don't think you'll somehow meet a new person without any baggage, emotional issues, or other personal problems, or you'll be sourly disappointed.

"There's a reason why the divorce rate is higher with people on their 2nd or 3rd marriages. The grass isn't always greener with someone else, and statistically, it's almost never greener. I'd suggest intense counseling, intense meetings, or a complete reset where you spend a few weeks apart from your partner to fix things, versus blowing up an otherwise good marriage or relationship." says Glinda.